26 March 2010

Bang Ayman,,sorry


Friday,26 march 2010..

Misscalled –Abah: 2.15am
Incoming call-Abah :2.16 am
Called-Abah: 2.18 am


Shimah: Eyzzah,bangun..ada call

...........................................................................


1.00pm


It was a bright sunny day on Friday evening, about a week after my 19th birthday. I was in a very quiet room, staring at her.Then something said to me

Watch her eyzzah..
As you are a doctor-to-be,seize that moment please!

Watch her eyzzah
As you have to learn someday, how to take someone bath

Watch her eyzzah
As you stared at her stiff body, unmoved only covered with a piece of kain batik

Watch her eyzzah
As you saw her son rub her face gently,lovingly... while water was running
everywhere on her body
And faiz also help rubbing her,but me?

Watch her eyzzah
While some makcik said “ gi tubik nu, tak leh wat kijo kalu ramai2 orang dalam bilek nih”

(But i still standing at a corner there ,ignoring the makcik)

Watch her eyzzah.....
As i saw her calm face,so fresh and full of tranquility

While my tears running down heavily.hand on mouth..(cant believe my eyes actually)..and i can do nothing but standing and staring.


A 4-year-old boy,looking at me..with his round eyes,like asking me “bakpo akak ni jerit?”


‘huh, apa tengok2?! Gi la main jaoh2’ (of course i only monologed)


I watched the process,from taking her bath until ‘kaffan’ing her. And i know now, how to handle this

Her son was so loyal.he involved in everything until she saved buried at tanah perkuburan islam teluk bayu.

She saved now abang ayman.i dont know how to tell you this but


Her son= Abah
She/her = mak tok....


Inna lillah hi wa inna illaihi raji’uun..........







Tok cik said that 2 weeks ago she dreamed almost every day about tok ayah,sleeping beside her at night then asking her to come with him.She said ‘ nanti la dulu..x sempat nak jumpa anak-beranak lagi’. But tok ayah replied ‘ tak yoh la jumpa,,ikut je la’. But she still continued her routine for 2 weeks before she really2 following him. Tok cik said, every day..she ate at tok cik’s house. She said ‘bakpo kalu ada adek beradek tapi x jumpa’..and she dont have any disease actually,only on that day..she suffocated then doctor said ‘its nothing dangerous’.but then its her time..yes.


Mama told me Abah cried ‘teresak2’..(Honestly, i never expect abah to cry.because he was a tough man..). He cried only in front of her..yes..not in front of us,of course.then Faiz-obviously, uncovered,, he cried loudly and told mama ‘che suuuu, faiz nak balik gak!!!!!!’ then,that is why we have to bring him along and let tasneem stayed at kisas..(at this moment Tasneem didnt know that mak tok has gone).. Abg jie also asking not to buried mak tok yet before he came..(but he didnt make it)


Actually,i really dont want to tell you like this but you dont online..so,to not let me to forget,i have to write.


I’m sorry again...